I have been hunting for a while for a decent meme to do here, mainly because I'm lazy & need prompts & that's precisely what a meme provides. I finally found a somewhat decent one & whittled it down to 17 (coincides with the end of 2010 + a few leeway days & other excuses/reasons that really are just bullshit ways of saying no way am I going to divulge in social life on my public blog). Here's the whole meme for reference, and here we go.
DAY 1: Who are you? In comparison to who you used to be. What made you change?
I love answering this question. At one point in high school I was addicted to changing my Myspace about me every month, writing long paragraphs about how ~sassy~ I was (don't worry, I'm snorting at myself too). I know this makes me sound incredibly narcissistic or vain, which could be true, but it's more of the fact that it gives an appropriate forum for me to talk about myself, something I never do unless prompted to.
This question is asking how I've changed though, and suffice it to say that I don't really believe any of my defining characteristics have really changed. I talked about this briefly in a previous post; though my circumstances have changed greatly, my friends are completely new, & on the outside I am just so...so different, once words come tumbling out of my mouth (if they do, that is) you'll hear the same snide jokes, you'll get the same deflective answers, you'll see the same apathetic face.
It drives me up the wall when people assume that hanging out with different kinds of people or taking on new interests means you've "lost yourself" along the way, that this new place has messed with you. Maybe with others, but no, not me. Real change to me is if I were to become a nice conservative, outwardly polite Korean girl, one that's brash & throws obnoxious questions at strangers, but no. I'm still the same liberal girl too shy to ask for anything.
So yes, following your definition of change, I have changed. I have flipped 180 degrees, whole-heartedly embracing my ethnicity whereas I vehemently denied it to the core a couple years ago. I care about Korean current events, I follow their pop culture, I may have even Koreanized my fashion style a bit (blame pretty models & cheap clothes for that). And if that's deep down change to you, then so be it.
Moving on to the actual who are you part, I'll list this out like statistics on a baseball card (there's really no natural way to talk about yourself without looking like a douche). I am an INFP to the core. I'm a bit sensitive to criticism (not defensive, but sensitive) & have unreasonable expectations of others (part of why I just figure it best to not bother at all). I suck at debating with others. I don't talk about myself ever, to a point where you would have to pry out something pent up inside (after which everything just comes tumbling out). I use sarcasm as a sign of friendliness. I'm a cynic, I'm too honest, and I can't hide emotions from my face. I hate looking desperate or needy more than anything. I have a penchant for personal writing, clean typography, random lists, cheap clothes, fashion illustrations, memoirs, female rock, bad pop music, ethereal cinematography, & 90s romcoms. Basically I sound like every insecure indie wannabe 15 year old girl on Tumblr, an amusingly sad diagnosis on my part.
photo | posternaks ; flickr
